You can't say “no” just yet

Because your stability depends on a paycheck you don't control. That's the trap.

I hate to say this, but the company doesn't value your years the way you do. Wake up. To the company, your loyalty only makes you older and more expensive to fire. Nothing more.

And deep down, you know it.

That’s why you keep your mouth shut in meetings and take on projects that make no sense. You literally can’t afford to say “no.” And spare me the talk about “job security”. I've seen meetings where people's futures are decided and I can tell you no one cares about your extra hours or who you are outside the office. All they want is for you to take a problem off their hands today.

Your freedom ends where the fear of being shown the door begins

Here we talk about power within the system. Who really calls the shots. How to build a position that doesn't depend on your boss's mood. What to do when you get the tough job, because it will, and they won't thank you for it.

We talk (without giving career advice, lest some coach be offended) about how to gain leverage within a multinational.

We talk about margin, debts of favors, and understanding which way the wind is blowing. About promotions, but only if there's something to learn from them. We hardly ever talk about corporate culture. About purpose, corporate mindfulness, and team building just enough to laugh. We don't talk much about layoffs, but we observe them a lot. With that dark morbid fascination of someone watching an accident on the highway.

I'm not promising you anything. I don't expect to make you feel better. Damn it! If I wanted to help you be happy, I'd sell you coffee (and I will), not a newsletter.

I know. Send it. Wait. What is this?

I like that. You should always be skeptical.

Here is the deal.

I’m not gonna sit here and blow smoke up your ass. We both know how the day went.

You’re fried. You’re stressed out of your mind, probably just staring at your phone wondering if this is the rest of your life.

I have a word for you. It’s free. You mastered it before you could even walk. Remember how you used to scream at your parents in the grocery store? You didn’t care who was watching. You just knew what you wanted and you didn't give a damn. But then you grew up. And somewhere along the way, between growing up and dealing with corporate bullshit, you just stopped using it.

I’m gonna help you get that back. But first, we need to be honest.

You’re a grown-ass adult, right? Mortgage. Pandemic survived. Probably people relying on you. Yet, here you are, trembling over a draft email to a boss you don’t even respect, just to ask if it’s “okay” to go to the doctor at 10:00 a.m.

“Would it be alright if I took care of my health?”

Think about how pathetic that sounds. Seriously, read it again.

And it’s not just the doctor. Maybe it’s the dentist, or just wanting a damn afternoon off. You don't even bother asking anymore, because you already know the look on their face. You’re literally asking for permission to manage your own time.

However.

The ones this isn't for already closed the page. But you're still here. So the thing you can't stand is the begging.

You’re sick of begging for permission just to reclaim an hour of your own life

And you deserve that. You want a reality check?

Don’t show up tomorrow. Let them take away your desk, cancel your password, whatever. How many people would call because only YOU know how to solve their problems?

Three?

One?

None?

If you’re being honest, you know they'd just call whoever sits in your chair next. You're not valuable. You're convenient. And convenience never buys freedom. Convenience gets managed.

I hear the excuses already.

Yeah, yeah... doesn't work like that in your country. Your industry is special. Your company is different. Your boss is a good person. Of course he is. But it’s irrelevant. A decent person inside a machine still behaves like the machine rewards him to behave. And the machine rewards control.

You really think reposting Marcus Aurelius quotes on LinkedIn is gonna help you? It’s not.

You're free in a company just when their fear of losing you completely overrides their instinct to control you. That's the only freedom that exists inside a company.

Which brings us back to the word. Two letters.

"No."

Opening your mouth and saying what you think. So just do it and see what happens. If they laugh, fine. If you end up in a disciplinary meeting, even better. At least then the mask is off and you know where you stand.

And no, I’m not telling you to go in there, flip a desk, and Jerry Maguire your way out of the building. That’s for the movies. Sometimes even idiotic. But you seriously need to stop acting like the needy little kid holding your hand up and begging for a gold star from a teacher. As long as that needy version of you is running your life, you’re basically putting yourself on a 90% discount.

Uncomfortable?

Good. Close the page. Everyone manages their career their own way. But if you think I’m exaggerating, there are only two possibilities. Either you've been in for so long that it seems normal to you. Or you're just terrified. Like those who hide in the bathroom to look at their phone.

Fear is human. I get it. But they're betting on your cowardice. And so far, they’re winning hands down.

There's no middle here. Either you start writing your own rules, or you keep asking for permission.

That's up to you. Completely. It always was.

Because nobody is going to walk into your office and tell you that you’ve worked hard enough or that you deserve your life back. No one.

Now send it. Not yet. Tell me more.

Still there? Good.

You just sat through 684 words of... well, me.

Do you have any idea how rare that is? Especially when you’ve got thousands of people whining that nobody reads anymore.

They’re wrong.

People do read. Serious people read. People who actually have money to spend and problems to solve read. The only people who don't read are the ones I’ve just filtered out with those 684 words.

What you just read is a real sample of the emails I write every day.

Now then.

Let’s see if this is your fire escape or just the final stop. This won’t take long. Pick your favorite HR-approved excuse.

“I don’t believe it”

Good. Skepticism is one of the few things they haven’t managed to take from you yet. But don’t confuse me with someone trying to help you feel better. Read the first email. Judge for yourself. Or don’t! The system doesn’t care either way. There's always another enthusiast waiting for your chair.

“I’m afraid of getting fired”

Fired? From what?! You're already on the street. What happens is that they let you badge in because you’re still useful. The second that changes, they’ll hand you a “thank you for your service” and deactivate your badge before you’ve even processed what happened.

“I don’t have the time”

Interesting. You’ve got plenty of time for meetings that go nowhere, but not for a few minutes to take your dignity back. How convenient for them! They keep you overloaded just enough to stop you from thinking clearly. Brilliant! If you’re too busy for this, they’ve already won.